When my last relationship ended after months of me trying to convince myself to make a decision and stick to it, I promised myself the next one would be last one. I wasn’t even sure I believed in marriage, or if I ever did, but I definitely believe in God, I told myself, and maybe that’s all I needed to believe in right now. I wanted to figure out if sharing everyday of my life with someone other than Fiesta dog was something God wanted for me so if that meant waiting weeks or even years to find a partner who supported me – and not just the good parts but really me as a whole person – I was good with waiting. To be honest, I wanted to be alone, boring and selfish, and grow my faith in God. So, you know what they say: “I know what I bring to the table so trust me when I say I’m not afraid to eat alone.”
As a result of me being new to the area, I joined Tinder, an online dating site, with no further intentions than to find friends to ride with, both male and female. I was not interested in dating, falling in love or having a boyfriend, as I told the guys who messaged me asking if that was “really” my bike in my pictures, or they would talk about racing a 175 or 225, which don’t exist. Then, I matched with a guy who seemed pretty cool and had a dirt bike with trophies in his picture, so I sent him a message: “Braaaup.”
Insert: Jon, who chatted with me about my two stroke and said he recently switched to a KTM 500. He seemed legit so I asked him to take me riding. He asked me if I was looking to date. “No, I’m super over it,” I told him honestly, adding that I would let him chase me down the trail. He said he was looking to date and find that one girl to be his teammate. I encouraged him and said I hope he finds her and not to give up – completely opposite of what I was doing: giving up. We talked on the phone and set up a “date” to go go karting first. Long story short, when we sat down to dinner prior to go karting the next night, I couldn’t take my eyes off of him – seriously, I felt bad looking away as we talked about our pasts, some good, some bad, and our families and friends. It felt like I had known him forever. “What a surprise,” I told him, thinking God worked in mysterious ways. “I have feelings for you where I thought I didn’t have feelings left.” Still, for what it’s worth, I couldn’t bring myself to go for the goodnight kiss when we hugged goodnight. (He had just kicked my ass in go karts and I’m a pretty sore loser.)
So, imagine my surprise at work the next day when a coffee cup bouquet of flowers arrived before my evening of 30+ parent-teacher conferences. Even more impressive was him spelling both of my names right on the card. “I think you’re out of the friend zone with that one,” I said.
The next night at dinner, we hit up a trendy spot downtown, talked and laughed for a few hours. We planned to go riding that weekend, which would be the final test: if we could have fun at our sport together. The next day, he picked up some oil and a filter for me, and made me a custom fork guard for my bike. By Sunday, waking up to go ride together, I was more nervous than I was meeting him for the first time. Motorcycles are such a big part of my life and I wanted everything be perfect. Would he wait for me if he was way faster? Would he let me lead, too? I should have known. His form was spot on and he was a lot faster offroad than a I thought. Pretty perfect.